06 October 2006

Collective traffic fun

I guess we've all had that one. You turn a corner and you see your bus leaving.
Now, that's pretty aggravating. You stand there for ten minutes cursing and spreading damnations on all you see.
This one will top ANY late-for-the-bus-story you got...


ONE

This wednesday I left the office early, which means around seven in the eve.
I had just gotten out in the yard, when I see a bus leaving the bus stop at the other side of the fence. Fuuuck.


TWO

I go out the gate and go to check when the next bus leaves. The next bus leaves in three minutes? Huh?
I wait. Two minutes after the bus shoulda been there I realise it musta been my bus after all which was early. These things happen.
I start walking towards the tramstop. I turn a corner, halfway up the hill, I look behind me and see my bus swoosh past.
Piss shit fuck hell


THREE

I turn around and see my tram go towards the stop. I start running and get there just in time to touch the tram as it leaves.
FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUCKFUCKFKKKK

FOUR

At this precise moment it starts raining.

I ain't got no umbrella.

Now I start laughing, this is too much.

Apparently I am supposed to walk to the metro. Well, it ain't raining too much.

I decide to turn negative into positive and do my evening shopping on the way. When i come out of the store it's really pissing down.

No way I can make it to the metro without getting soaked. I make a run for the nearest bus stop with a booth. The stop for the direct-home-bus is on the opposite corner, but there is no booth.
The one I'm waiting for will take me to the metro. I'm cold, I'm wet, I've just missed three different ways to get home. I'm standing and cursing for five minutes.
While standing there, I see my direct-home-bus stop at the other stop. No way I can make it over there. It's pissing down.
AAAACK TUBGIRLSHITHOSEGEORGEWBUSH



FIVE


Hey wait. It stopped raining. I run over to the bus-direct-home-bus stop to see when my next bus is leaving. Ten minutes. Fuck. I turn around. The bus which woulda taken me to the metro is just leaving.

At this point I finally give up. I decide to walk to the metro, take the metro, walk home, get under the blankets and pretend that collective transport does not exist.

1 comment:

Håvard Johansen said...

arrr arrr.. fantastisk!